The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same.

I was remembering the other day of my first trip to the temple, when Steelton showed me the path of the warrior. Its been on my mind, as many of paths we take seem to go in unintended directions. When I was younger, I dreamed of glory and honor and epic battles and all of the things that I thought made a warrior great. A fine weapon, sturdy armor, and countless notches in my belt for many hundreds of demons slain by my sword. I looked up to Steelton, Islander, Topaz, and several other warriors I saw returning from uncounted battles - telling tales of beasts so vicious that it would seem a miracle they returned alive, if at all. I was young and had not seen much of world, until the time came for my parents to send me out into the world to seek my own destiny.

I have been seeking it ever since. I have found love and friendship, trials and failure, loneliness and hardship, warmth and compassion. Many things I had not intended to be part of this warriors destiny. Many people became friends who I saw as legends and many I saw as friends become legends themselves. So this is my destiny, as I live it day to day. Now an Iron Knight, now a husband, guild officer and friend to many whom Ive had the good fortune of coming to know so well.

I sometimes think about my apprentices - John Needles the first, who suffered from my inexperience as a mentor but survived none the worse for the wear. My hidden apprentice. He does show his face from time to time, although usually it is relaxing under an apple tree in the guild's Orchard. He developed quite a taste for Cider and longs for the days when the taverns will begin offering it on their menus once more. Brakkus who had a promising future, but wandered off into oblivion as many adventurers do - lost or perhaps dead, but I like to think he settled down and put his sword away in favor of a peaceful life. Finally, my last apprentice Daisy. Another very unexpected path in my life. She is well, however. I saw her recently in our Orchard. It is good to see that she did not stay away forever after returning home to help her family with their troubles. She has grown in many ways since I last saw her and I hear she has recovered the bounce in her step. For my part, our personal relationship ended as it needed to. I admit to learning alot about myself during that time and I was happy. But retracing old scars really has no use, not even in this one place I have for my own reflections. I am still her mentor and both of our lives have moved on as they should.

There are more important things in life, as I have said many times, than how many battles a man has fought or how many apprentices carry his knowledge forth in the lands. On a different note, our guild is growing and there is a lot of potential in the newer members and current applicants. We have a rogue in our midsts once more. Which almost seems ironic, considering other things... but it has been a very long time since one was counted among the Twenty Two. Zayne has already caught the interest of many people and he is lucky to have such a sponsor and mentor as Starling to show him the ways. But a rogue is still a rogue, no matter how you dress them.

I suppose this journal will be my memories when I am too old to remember. I need to do a better job of keeping track of it and not be so busy in my day to day life that I forget - there is always a future and the past will always be part of that.

Fleur is sleeping now as I find this quiet time to reflect on my many thoughts these past few days. I am very lucky and although I shouldnt ever need to remind myself of that, I should never forget. Even in my mistakes she finds the part of me that is better than the sum of my failures. And in my triumphs and achievements she keeps me grounded, focused on the important aspects of life that are not all fleeting glory. She makes me truly a happier, whole man... even if she does make light of the fact that my lack of training has softened me in places.

I am not old yet, but when I am I should like a different life. And I think that one day none of these reflections will matter more than an interesting bit of personal history. Until then, there are always troubles on the horizon. Even with our gods and goddesses watching over us, the struggle against the Demon Lords evils continues and I still play my part. It is my destiny and it finds me every day with the criers call. I still want to take a holiday to Ethucan, but there is much to be done before that day comes. Training at hand that cannot be put on hold and promises to fulfill.

I am looking forward now and I think I am quite finished looking back.

I suppose it is my own fault. My fault for making such a mess of the library so many months ago. My fault for shelving my journal behind often forgotten books - leaving it to be forgotten as well. But here it is. Where it has been for many months now and in the same perfect condition as I left it. Its my own fault for not writing in my journal for so long, but I had not been in the habit of writing as I used to.

No sense in attempting to catch up on months gone past.
It's almost spring now and for once it doesn't seem like the winter has left such a cold scar on the world. Life goes on in Valorn, no matter the season, I suppose. And life keeps us all busy - defending the many raids that have been coming at the most random times and often not allowing much of a rest between. It's always reassuring to see Azure's blue hat dashing to and from the raids, in and out of the Inn, and still having time to stop long enough for a cheerful hello. There are more than a few dedicated defenders of Valorn and Valorn is lucky to have them. If anything could bring light back to every dark corner of the lands, it is definitely the will of its people to do good.

My own training has come to a halt, although it is only temporary, but I have been enjoying escorting Fleur to the trainer these many times in the past two months. She makes me proud with every turn of the marc - one could not ask for a better guild leader, charitable and thoughtful friend, or loving and tender companion. It still amazes me to think how our relationship has changed since the first time I met her in Dundee Inn, but such is fate - and it has been far too long since that meeting to recount its many twists and turns. But here we are and here we will remain.

I saw Ixon in the Inn today. I probably shouldnt have said those things to him and left him to his... whatever it was... nostalgia, I think he called it. Fleur won't be happy with me. At. All. Many people seem happy to see him return and for my part I don't wish him ill, but that doesn't mean I am happy to see him talk about having no friends and caring about nothing more than his artifacts - he forgets his children and I think that would hurt Fleur most. Even more than the implication that he never cared about her. So call me irrational, or protective, or foolish... but I did walk away in the end and I do know I should have just left him to his... whatever he calls it. Nostalgia.

A trip to Ethucan is overdue. I am very fond of the fountain in the Memorial Park.